I can't believe my last blog was posted on May 26th!! I'm such a slacker!
Things have been changing rapidly in our house over the past few weeks. But where do I begin? Let's start with Hannah:
Hannah learned how to tie her shoes last week. This was quite a feat for her, and I have my friend Ashley Pond to thank for it. She's a teacher and she uses a little rhyme to teach her kids to tie their shoes: "Shoelace 1, Shoelace 2, Over, under, through. Bunny ear, Bunny ear, Over, under through!" As soon as Hannah memorized this rhyme, she had it down. It was awesome! She's also starting to become more interested in girly stuff. She wants to play dress-up, do make-up and have tea parties. She's playing with barbies and stuff more too. It seems our little tomboy is growing up into a sassy little sweetheart! It's so much fun to watch her develop into the wonderful little lady she's becoming!
Hayley has made a few new accomplishments as well. She started on meats, which she's none too excited about and spits them back out at me every chance she gets. But it's what's for dinner, so she eventually eats some of it! Today she started dancing when the music came on for the Local on the 8's on the Weather Channel. She was totally rocking out! Hands up in the air, head bobbing, body wiggling type of rocking out! It was soooo cute. Then, shortly after that, she decided she wanted to play with sis and stood up using the coffee table to see what sis was up to. When she realized she was two feet away from her, she started using the table to help her walk down to where the action was! She's never actually cruised before, and we were pretty excited about it!
It's so much fun to watch them play together. The older they both get, the better they are at interacting on a fun and adorable way. Hayley climbs all over Hannah, chewing on her and drooling on her and screaming giggles, and Hannah laughs so hard she almost pees herself! My girls... the highlight of most every day!
On the subject of me, and how I'm doing... It's getting better all the time. Now that the weather is nice, we've been getting out a lot more, which is good for my mentality. It was a long, difficult winter being locked up in the house with the girls 24/7. But, it is getting better. We're starting to have a little extra money (not much, but some) so we can actually go places once in a while. Hannah and I went to garage sales last Friday, and it was incredibly good for both of us to just be out of the house all day.
I've been doing a lot of soul searching lately as well. It's been over a month now since I've been to church, and that bothers me. Not that I feel I need to be in church to talk to God, but being around other people who are all involved in worship gives one a certain feeling of closeness to Him that you don't necessarily find anywhere else. Sometimes I like to just stand outside and look around. It's beautiful out here during the summer, and it reminds me of exactly what God is capable of, especially when I hear the laughter of my little ones in the background. I've been reading the Bible on occasion as well, something I hadn't really done a lot of before.
Aside from the religious side of soul searching, I've been thinking about myself as a person and how I've developed over the past 10 years. It occurred to me yesterday that I'm not necessarily happy with the person I've become. Sure, I'm a pretty nice lady and all... but I feel I've become somewhat jaded. Maybe even a little cynical. I frequently doubt the goodness in people, and think things about people that I shouldn't. It amazes me that 10 years ago, I was a girl with very strong opinions... I believed that peace on earth was possible, and that love is love no matter what form it comes in, and that every person on this planet deserves to be treated fairly and equally, regardless of race, religion or lifestyle. I can't help but wonder what happened to that girl. I know things are not as black-and-white as they seem to a 16 year old girl. I'm not silly enough to think that I had it all right back then. But I can't figure out where my opinions changed so drastically, or ever why. I suppose I started watching too much news, listening to other people too much, allowing others to form my opinions for me. I read this book not too long ago that made me dramatically question my beliefs about several things. And I think I've come to a conclusion: That 16 year old girl was much closer to being right about life than this 25 year old woman. I'm not saying she knew more, but she was more fair, and much more kind. As I strive to reconnect with the person I used to be, I rely heavily on music and prayer to keep me centered. I'm hoping that my friends and my family can come along for the ride as well.
"If you realized how powerful your thoughts are, you would never think a negative thought."
~Peace Pilgrim
"A child's world is fresh and new and beautiful, full of wonder and excitement. It is our misfortune that for most of us that clear-eyed vision, that true instinct for what is beautiful and awe-inspiring, is dimmed and even lost before we reach adulthood." ~Rachel Carson
