Suddenly... Revelation.

Revelation #1: Hannah was born on April 26th, 2005. As of a week from Monday, that will have been five years ago. FIVE years. It seems impossible. It truly hit me the other day for the first time... My husband and I have made it through the impossible, scary, unpredictable first five years of parenthood. Granted, it's all unpredictable and scary until you've experienced it for the first time, but still... the idea that had us so panicked and utterly terrified in 2004 when we found out we were *gasp* pregnant was that we didn't have a clue what we were doing. And yet, we survived, she survived...we made it. Hayley's infancy doesn't seem anywhere near as scary as Hannah's because Hannah prepared us well. With Hannah, we were diving blindly into the unknown. Who knew a baby could cry profusely, or vomit so many ounces (hell, GALLONS) in an hour? Who knew a baby could hit her head so hard and NOT suffer a concussion? We could never have guessed how messy poop could really be, or that it could be so red when there was no blood in it. It would have never occurred to me that a human could survive on so little sleep without going completely and utterly insane. She taught us what it meant to be exhausted and worn out, but more-so, how truly truly terrified we could be. She did a great job preparing us for our second time around! And all the bumps and bruises, all the middle-of-the-night fevers, all the potty accidents... They've all led up to this day, this very special birthday. It's the end of being babied and the beginning of a new chapter in life... the chapter in which she will make lasting friendships, learn important new skills, go off to school, get interested in sports... It's exciting, and yet I find myself right back where I was five years ago: terrified. Will she do well in school and be successful at forming friendships? Will she be pressured to say and do things she shouldn't? Did I prepare her well enough? Is the scariest experience yet to come, or does it max out at a newborn baby having an allergic reaction to formula that causes constant vomiting for four hours straight? There are so many questions racing through my mind, but c'est la vie, right? They don't get answered until they happen...or don't happen. Whichever the case may be. I can't wait to see the amazing little lady she will become, regardless of how freaked out I am about everything else.

Another revelation hit me as I was pulling up some weeds the other day... We survived our first country winter. We didn't get snowed in for a week, we weren't without power for days, and somehow we managed not wind up in a four-foot ditch! Of course, this was a mild winter to say the least. But still... the idea is exciting! Winter was our biggest concern moving out here, and yet we made it through just fine! And now, my favorite time of the year is almost here, and we can really enjoy our property in a way we can't do when the world is frozen. Bonfires and camp outs, sunsets and wildlife... I love our home!

One final revelation: I am not going to lose this baby weight by wishing it off. I've been doing that for some time now, and I've decided to shelve my love for food in the name of skinny jeans. It's high-time I squeezed these love handles back into a size seven, and cinnamon rolls and french fries are NOT going to make that happen. So as of today, I'm back on the wagon. Who knows how long it will last, but as of right now, my conviction is AIR TIGHT!

"In the book of life, the answers aren't in the back." (Charlie Brown)

Ah, spring...

Spring has sprung in Michigan... The weather has been lovely, and we've been enjoying a lot of time outdoors. It's been beautiful... up until a couple days ago. More on that in a minute. Easter was wonderful. We had my inlaws down, and had great food and delicious desserts. My mom-in-law started her chemotherapy last week, and she wasn't feeling the greatest. Thankfully, her appetite is just fine, and she hasn't had any nausea. But she said she quite literally feels as though she's been hit by a truck. Her whole body hurts to the point where we can't even hardly touch her. I can't imagine how awful that must be... It's hard enough just watching her go through it. But I know everything will be okay in the end. Anyway, the best part about having them over was that she got to have a nice Easter with people she loved without having to do any work or worry about anything. She usually hosts Easter dinner at her place, and I was really glad I was able to get her to ours instead.

The weather for Easter was gorgeous, and the day after was gorgeous. But this is Michigan, and inevitably the weather turned...well, ugly. Tuesday night we went to bed a little late because we were watching 24 and didn't start it until almost 9:30. It was around 11:00 when we finally got to bed. I was awoken at midnight by loud banging noises coming from somewhere in the house, so I got up to look around. I realized it was coming from the kitchen window. All of a sudden, there were a MILLION banging noises all over the house. I realized then that it was hail. Where we live, we can't hear the tornado sirens, so I tried to turn on the tv to see if we were under a warning, but it wouldn't turn on. I tried another tv and realized our power was out. Then, it was like someone flipped the hail swtich from Reasonably Low to Armageddon High. It was deafening. I frantically tried to get the batteries into the weather radio (I know, shame on me)but my hands were shaking to hard to get them in. All the while I was trying to wake my husband to ask him if we needed to get downstairs. I gave up on the radio, hollared at Mike to get up out of bed and help me, and ran in and grabbed Hayley (who was still practically comatose) and Hannah (who was plugging her ears and FREAKING out). Suddenly, however impossible it seems, the hail got even louder. We headed for the basement and had no sooner gotten somewhat comfortable with candles lit than the hail stopped. My heart was still pounding, and my ears for still kind of ringing, but it seemed to be over. We waited about ten minutes, then headed back upstairs. It occured to me then that I ave itnernet access on my phone, so I got online. We weren't under a tornado warning at any point in time that night, but the damage we saw the next day made it look like we should have been. The grill was about 100 feet behind the house in pieces, and the grill lid was about 250 feet away from that. As we watched the news, we saw sides of houses that had been blown away, semis that had been swept off the road, telephone poles snapped in half. And all because we had 80mph gusts that night. No tornado, just lots of hail and wind. It sure was scary though... At one point when the hail got louder, it almost sounded like one of the windows broke, but luckily that wasn't the case.

But, as I said, it is spring... and I LOVE spring. The flowers are blooming, the trees are budding... it's just beautiful. And shorts weather is right around the corner, which means bonfires and smores, camping, bbq's.... it's all going to be amazing. AMAZING. This is the best time of the year because you can almost TASTE the strawberries and sweet corn and fresh salads...the warm breezes and saltwater....the roses... It's going to be a FANTASTIC summer...

"Rest is not idleness, and to lie sometimes on the grass on a summer day listening to the murmur of water, or watching the clouds float across the sky, is hardly a waste of time." ~John Lubbock